[ a wretched, wretched day ]

Today was a wretched, wretched day, but treatment no.7 is complete. I was also acutely reminded that things could be so much worse.
Please allow me some harsh words- they’ve been building for a while, my apologies: Fuck cancer – for taking, at times, all of my glorious, boundless power, and all of my glorious, cunning ability to intuit and manipulate the Universe, away from me, and for leaving me rattled, terrified, and utterly used up in ineffective, fruitless ways. I want these things back, in good working order, and I desperately want to feel like I can keep them.
Thank you comrades, for all your support and love and kindnesses these past months – they have been the thread that keeps me dangling, however perilously, from my perch, and are more appreciated than I can say.
The last several days have been low for me. I share these moments to help myself feel connected to my environment, and to people, and for the benefit of someone else, experiencing something similar, somewhere, anywhere – if you are out there, faced with nonsense, grab my sweaty, angry hand, and hold on tight. I am here, and I feel it.
I’m going to do this stupid activity one more time in two weeks, and you better believe I’m not planning on having to do it again after that. Ever. Goodness knows the plan has been wrinkled before, but we must keep on planning. We must find a way to trust ourselves enough each day to feel our future morphs cheering us on.
Here is monodelphis saci, a fun new possum that was recently named for a magical Brazilian gnome, and is also adorable:

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